Archive for June, 2008

Working Hours

Published at June 17, 2008 in Diary. 1 Comment

IT SEEMS THAT I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP BEFORE 10PM, BECAUSE I JUST FEEL SO TIRED SITTING HERE. PASSIONLESSNESS PROBABLY IS THE MAIN REASON WHY I FEEL TIRED, “LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD”, I CHOOSE LIVE FREE IF I CAN. “I CAN” MEANS I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PLACE TO LIVE, FOODS TO EAT AND CLOTHES TO WEAR, THAT’S THE MOST BASIC ELEMENTS OF A “”, I WOULD APPRECIATE SOME ADDITIONAL “BONUSES” OF COUSE, BOOKS, CUBES, NO WOMEN, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE TO LIVE, EVEN IN A FORREST, I WILL BE AS GOOD AS THE RICHEST PERSON ON THE PLANET, OR EVEN BETTER.

BUT THE FACT IS THAT I WILL NEVER BE A GUY LIKE THAT, NON OF ANYONE WHO LIVES ON THIS PLANET. BECAUSE WE HAVE SO MUCH TO CARE ABOUT, FIRST AND THE MOST IMPORTANT OF COURSE IS YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FATHER, YOUR MOTHER, AND THE SO CALLED “RESONSIBILITY TO GET MARRY, THEN NEED TO HAVE A CHILD AND RAISE HE/SHE UP”, WHAT A TRADITIONAL THOUGHT! ANOTHER IS THE SO CALLED “SOCIATY RESPONSIBILITY”, AND THAT LIMITES EVERY WORDS YOU SAY, EVERY MOVES YOU MAKE, OTHERS LIKE “ FOR YOUR COUNTRY”, “FOR THE COUNTRY’S FLOURISHING”, ANYTHING! SHOULD BE FREE RIGHT?

ANYWAY, I CAN CHANGE NOTHING, IF YOU SAY SOMETHING, THAT SOMETHING MUST BE ME.

SEE, I’M WRITING ALL THESE CRAPS DURING MY WORKING HOURS AGAIN, I DON’T WANNA DO THAT HOWEVER, BUT WHATELSE I CAN DO?

FORGIVE ME FOR THE ALL CAPITAL-LETTERS WRITING STYLE, IF YOU FEEL NOT GOOD OF READING ALL THESE STUFF, JUST SKIP THAT.

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June 11th

Published at June 11, 2008 in Diary. 3 Comments

I’m almost forget I’ve ever owned this and always will, seriously, the day since I started my career, seems no longer that important to me, though I need to read mails contracts whatever materials that related to my funtioning, what i’ve learned is just enough. i have to say, that’s the main reason why i didn’t write my for a month and i don’t want to pick up my vocabulary book anymore. Suddenly i realized that this is the begining of the end, the end of my growing, the end of my knowlodge, the end of my .

People just can’t simply satisfied with the currently condition, for me, I’m the person who don’t willing to change, everything, if I have my girl, I bet I won’t change her easily, and that’s me. After two months of working (actually is training), I experienced what i believe the hardest time to live with people, so what? I’m nobody, so there won’t be some so called “mercy”. My defectiveness, my own problem, no one can solve it unless i’m willing to, and that’s me too.

I don’t know why my supervisor leave me in this team, because I got not so many things to do and the relationships with others also not that satisfied, I can get my done, only if I have something to do. I thought about requesting, requsting to transfer to another team, another so called “always busy” team, so that i don’t have to care about relations something like that, all i have to do is to get my done and that is it, when it’s time to off to go, i will leave on time, it’s better if i have to OT, because i can get the extra money. But all these is just what i’m thinking, that doesn’t means i have to implement it. Why not quit after the several days remaining training period if i don’t get what i want or what i need, and that would be a more moral alternative for me.  is a struggle, just like the lyrics of this song, no matter what happened, no matter how things change, just be myself.

By the way, i wrote all these during my mid-day break at the company, hoping you can find no mistakes during your reading, because i didn’t use for a long time…

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