Joe’s lounge

A said:

Ive started a certain discussion in which somebody does not like me or my discussion and disagrees with me strongly, but with language I would not like to use, like you make me sick, or puke etc. I usually tend to ignore such comments and go on, for each is entitled to their opinion. However there are ways and ways to disagree without going dirty. I strongly want to write back and tell them so, but it will only create an open war of words and I dont want mylot to become a sounding board for words of war. So I feel I should let go. Have I done right? What would be your reaction to such phrases?

B Said:

I actually think you did the right. It was good of you to let it go. You would just play right into their hand if you stooped down to that person’s level and started replying with similar comments. It would just drag everything and make things more unpleasant. People like that should be ignored.

I haven’t had to deal with something like that on here but I dealt with a somewhat similar situation at work the other day. Some girl decided to attack me verbally for no reason at all. She was causing quite a scene too. I was very, very pissed off and so badly wanted to tell her off but refrained from doing so. I wasn’t going to lower myself and have a shouting match with some immature teenager.

A replied B:

Thanks for your support and advice. I really feel bad when people can stoop so low. This is a forum for the family and as such people should refrain from such words where little children can read. You also did the right thing in not getting into a slanging match with her, but then she should not take this as your weakness. You can firmly and softly tell her off. Cheers.

C Said:

Better ignore the person than spend your time thinking about it. So what if he/she felt that way to you? You don’t know him/her anyway. You’re here for earnings, for friends and discussions so don’t be bother with just one person. I also have encountered one too when I responded to a discussion and he gave comment there saying I am gold diggers or filipina are gold diggers but I just ignored him and that’s the end of the story. From then I tried to avoid him and avoid all his discussions.

A replied C:

I know there are some mean persons on this forum who cannot accept that discussions are meant to be healthy without going into mud slanging. That man must be a lout to say such things. Good you ingnored him. All the best.

D Said:

You’ve done the right thing dear. Yes, there are too many in here who are just closed-minded. You cannot please everybody. Mylot is a community and its purpose is to make it grow by rewarding its members through their efforts. However, there are members here that I really cannot delineate why they have to be defensive on discussions or on topics that you never intend to be offensive.

It’s playing on my mind that if a certain topic is offensive to you, why bother responding to it, right? There are members here who can’t control their temper when in fact everyone have the opportunity to choose a topic to respond on that truly interests them…Some times, that situation isn’t happening. You really can’t control other people’s mind. That is why, MYLOT should do something about it and be discreet.

I have encountered people who made provoking words or response to my discussions. I wanted to ignore it most of the time. But, we are just human, we also want to defend ourselves. Once or twice, I had to comment on their response still in a nice way. Worse, when I checked on the profile of those who made a provoking response to my discussion, i found out that he/she belongs to my friends list. Too bad really…Am hoping after my comment, he/she would realize that the discussion was just a topic that is something to discuss on and not intended to offend someone. Am also hoping that he/she would not rate me in the negative because I have not done wrong.

Am in GOOD FAITH that every discussion I make is not intended to offend anybody…Surely, the same as you are.

A replied D:

As you so rightly said, one can choose discussions and topics, so why answer discussions which turn you purple. I mean there are ways and ways of putting it without being personal. Actually, the funny part is after this discussion my rating increased to 10. Well, the rating does not matter so much as hurting a person, just because you dont agree with them. Discussions are like debates, where one has to put in the pros and cons of it and that too nicely. Ive never yet hurt anybody on mylot nor will I ever. If I dont like a topic, I ignore it rather than hurt somebody. Thanks a lot for all the courage and strength I get from you mylotters. Im blessed with your friendship.

 E Said:

Just let go and ignore it. I think that’s the best way to get back at those people. People who have the tendency to start disagreements about somebody else’s discussions can only be either 1 or all of 4 things: 1)they don’t understand what the whole discussion is about; 2)they have nothing better to say or contribute; 3)they get a kick out of making others feel upset; or 4)they are just plain RUDE.

If the same thing happens to me, I’d probably say something short in response and that’s it. Or maybe not at all and I’ll just go on and ignore the person and keep on ignoring the person. The first respondent hit the nail right n the head when she said they aren’t worth the time. There are a lot of better things to do here at myLot than argue or debate with senseless beings.

F Said:

As far as I am concerned, yes, you have done right.

The words one uses in communication is also a proof of one’s education, upbringing, breeding, environment, emotional depth, mental acuity, etc. Words of war actually imply total failure of the foregoing.

I go by former US President Teddy Roosevelt’s dictum: “Speak softly but carry a big stick.”

As a personal rule, when I get communications that I find less than wholesome, I write a response that tries to clarify and elaborate about the issue/s concerned. Another rule is that I edit such response at least 3 times. This helps clear the air and prevents further conflagration.